Personal Law
June 30, 2022

Should children be involved in the mediation process?

What is child-inclusive family mediation?

Child-inclusive mediation allows children to be part of the mediation process in a structured and practical way. Typically, couples use mediation to resolve any issues or disputes that arise throughout the process of divorce or separation, and through child-inclusive mediation, your children can have their say too.

Children often wish to have their voice heard on divorce and separation matters, as it will have a huge impact on their everyday life. They may have opinions about who they would like to live with, how much time they will spend with each parent and even how much contact they would like with their wider family, such as grandparents.

Child-inclusive mediation involves a family mediator who is trained as a child consultant talking with a child or children as part of the mediation process. Involving children in mediation can be very complex, and different considerations will apply depending upon the age and maturity of the child.

The child or children and both parents have to agree to the consultation, and it is the mediator’s decision whether the child consultation is appropriate in the circumstances.

When should you include your child in the mediation process?

Parents want to involve their child or children in the mediation process to provide them with a safe space to discuss their feelings and opinions. It can be very stressful for children to talk about living arrangements and other matters, as they don’t want to disappoint either of their parents. In many cases, children simply tell each parent what they want to hear, which can cause greater conflict.

A mediator will help your child process their views and form clear opinions about what they would like to happen in the future. Child-inclusive mediation can also lead to more child-focused outcomes and help parents understand how to deal with their child’s opinions and emotions.

Will mediation be stressful for your child?

In most cases, being involved in the mediation process can actually improve the wellbeing of your child at a very difficult time.

Children often feel frustrated and left out during the divorce or separation process. Child-inclusive mediation can make them feel like their feelings and opinions are being properly considered. Of course, if your child does not want to be involved in the mediation process, you should not force them to do so.

When is child-inclusive mediation not appropriate?

Child-inclusive mediation will not be suitable in most cases where children are under 10 years of age. If your child is over 10, the mediator may also still recommend that your child does not take part because they may lack the ability to process their emotions or understand what is going on and how it will affect them. Where you, as parents or the mediator, feel participation in mediation would be distressing for your child, it would be best to keep them out of the mediation process.

Need to talk to us?

Our friendly family team are here to explain and guide you through legal matters relating to children, divorce and separation. Please get in touch on 01892 526344 or email For further information on all our family law services, please click here.

Fixed Fee Appointments - £100 + VAT

We offer an initial one hour fixed fee appointment with one of our friendly family solicitors for £100 + VAT. This gives you the opportunity to talk your matter through with a solicitor, get their advice and then consider your options before deciding how to progress your legal matter. Please get in touch if you feel this type of appointment would be beneficial.

The contents of this article are for the purposes of general awareness only. They do not purport to constitute legal or professional advice. The law may have changed since this article was published. Readers should not act on the basis of the information included and should take appropriate professional advice upon their own particular circumstances.

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